Over the past few years I have moved between two poles of spiritual life practice. Between the practice of meditative stillness and the practice of deliberate creation. Stillness is within the realm of the soul and creation is within the realm of the mind. In the midst of these two forces, I was a torn being.
One force called me into less desire, less attachment, less movement, less dancing. The other force called me into focused thought, deliberate movement of energy, and lots of worldly stimulation. They both promised some sort of liberation.
I was torn with confusion about how to meld these teachings together into my daily life. How am I supposed to enjoy the fruits of life while still holding a place of inner peace. The ego is so easy to become trapped in. How am I supposed to indulge in sensual pleasures like traveling, music, eating, and other outward beauty, when one teaching tells me to be non-attached and subdue desires and therefore quiet the ego?
Desire is a good thing
I realized that suppressing desires does not solve anything. Each desire is a constantly emanating vibration within me that is producing a lot of power. They almost have a life of their own, because I have created them. I gave them life with my own consciousness. Through desire, I expanded myself, and Source answered me by holding that desire in my mind. The act of consciously holding back from my expanded self is an act of disharmony with Source. I realize now that I can not resist that Source. It’s rather impossible, like trying to hold back a tidal wave.
If I could not resist or suppress my desires, then how would I incorporate these other teachings? Well, I see now that they were misinterpreted by me and even by well meaning teachers. Desire is not to be actively suppressed by force. The world and it’s delights are very strong and they are the awakening force of life. Desire, dance, movement complements the stillness.
I feel like the ideal way to approach the egoic situation is by applying wisdom born of stillness. Going within to understand my own two-fold self. Knowing who I really am while still acting and living in this world. When I begin to awaken to my truer self, I become liberated from taking thoughts and negative egoic patterns too seriously. Understanding the Infinite within myself is key.
Living from inner wisdom
The Infinite is two sided. The Infinite is all that exists and all that does not exist. It is both form and formless. One teaching was calling me towards perfectly understanding the form aspect of creation, while the other teaching was beckoning me into formlessness of no-self.
I am seeing more clearly now that on Earth at this time in life, our new evolving experience is asking for an integration of both aspects. Our purpose in life at this time is all about letting beauty and creation arise from a place of conscious stillness.
In this newer understanding of my own life, I have begun to perceive, think, and act from a higher place of stillness. Not always, but more often than not. From this place of wisdom, I have seen that extremes in either direction will detrimentally ignore half of my entire Being.
God is both the music and the silence that holds it. As am I.
The musical teachings are all about consciously understanding how the laws of vibration operate. They are the guidelines of I can consciously manipulate energy into experiences and manifestations that I desire. The movement of energy, of form, of desire, through my Being, is the Universe experiencing itself. That is a necessary and beautiful process to be a part of.
On the other hand, there is the silence which holds the notes. This is the awareness within each of us, that connects us, that holds us, that speaks to us through intuition. The formless state of no-thing. No words, no feelings, no senses. Pure Consciousness. Pure awareness.
A more balanced Earth
Neither extreme suits me here now on Earth. This beautiful planet we have created together is the leading edge of reality. Nowhere else in the entire Universe has a place quite like this ever come to be. Only here can we imagine a new human being that lives with the wisdom of Stillness and at the same time consciously creates in the physical world with love, compassion, kindness, and the purest joy ever imagined.
It is now time on Earth for the balance between deep inner wisdom to meld with extremely skilled manifestational knowledge. A meeting of soul and mind. Of heart and brain. We were made as one being, with both of these tools. We are human beings and there is nowhere more fun to be there here right now.
How are you living these two aspects of stillness and movement in your life? Start a conversation in the comments below. :)
With all of my Love,